Buy, Sell, Haggle, Make Friends

I bought this messenger bag a few weeks ago... for my language books and study materials, so that I can bike out to the local KFC for a power study session.

The process of buying the book bag taught me some pretty big lessons about the culture of bargaining and relationships. I decided, when I walked into the backpack and luggage store down the street, that walking out with a bookbag that day would be my secondary goal. Instead, I just wanted to observe others in the process of buying a backpack, learn a little bit about culture, and maybe even practice some language with this guy who owns the store.

I browsed at the bags a bit, had my eye on one bag in particular. Being the only one left in the store (which was about the size of a dorm room), I decided to talk with the owner about more than just the bag. We talked about the bag for a minute or two, but then I asked him where he was from. We talked about his home town, and I talked about mine. He pulled up a chair for me. Then we talked about pace of life, family, weather, which cities are beautiful to visit, etc. We talked for about 30 minutes.

And at the end of that conversation, I asked, "Oh, by the way, how much for that bookbag?" 26 kuai, he replied. "Ok. Well, I need to head home. Maybe I'll come back tomorrow, and we'll talk again!" And then I left.

Most of the time, we foreigners approach a little store or a street-side vendor, and we are thinking to ourselves, "Great. I want that thing over there, but I know that this guy is totally going to take advantage of me as a foreigner and just try to use me to make some money. Well, hey, I'm never gonna see this guy again anyways... so I might as well bargain really low so that I can get what I want without getting ripped off."

What we fail to recognize is that there's a good chance that the vendor, who sees us coming, is thinking to himself, "Great. Here comes another foreigner. All they ever do when they come around here is point to something and ask for the price. They don't care anything about my store or my city or my family or me. They're just going to use me to get what they want. Well, hey, I'm never gonna see this guy again anyways... so I might as well keep my prices pretty high so that I can get what I want and maintain my dignity around this wealthy snob."

We forget that it's not only the case that the seller is using the buyer to make some money; the buyer is just as guilty of using the seller to get something he wants for cheap.

I went back to the store the next day. Pulled up a chair. We talked for another 10-15 minutes. Just shootin' the breeze. At the end of that, I said, "Oh yeah, I want to buy that bookbag." His reply: "Ok! For you, 20 kuai." I bought the bag, and I headed home. But I came away from that experience with much more than just a bookbag.

The point wasn't to spend an extra 30 minutes just to save 6 kuai. No, the point was to let this guy know that I cared more about him than about what he was selling or how much he was selling it for. He's a person, not just a vending machine. Hopefully for him, he sees that I'm a person too, not just an ATM machine. And, with that established... at the end of the day, it didn't really matter to either of us if the bag cost 30 kuai or 26 kuai or 20 kuai.