Returning to Food

Before I dive into today's post, I wanted to write a quick note on something that I heard on the radio today. On Studio 360 (NPR) this afternoon, there was an entire show talking about the elderly, and about how much we can learn from them. They were asking questions of some of these men and women who are well into their eighties, and they asked what kind of advice they would like to give to younger people. One elderly woman advised young people not to take everything in their life so seriously.

She said the words, "Not everything is a crisis. When you're young, you think everything is a crisis. But it's not true. As you get older, you learn that not everything is a crisis." YES. I love it. I feel like she validated the thoughts I was having just a week ago when blogging about the End of the World.

Ok... for today: As most of you know, I have had a week of intense dental activity. I have already learned my lessons about taking care of my teeth. I've been doing very well this week! And I plan to keep it up. But yes, this week has included 4 wisdom teeth extractions, a crown, and... a few fillings. (Don't shake your head at me. Each of us has our individual areas of weakness and brokenness. Yours might not be dental, but you've got areas too.)

So, for the most part this week, I have been taking it pretty easy in regards to food. Lots of jouk. Lots of soup. A couple poached eggs. And then yesterday, seared jumbo scallops on asparagus puree. And then tonight (thanks, CWang), braised short ribs, swiss chard, mashed potatoes, and frozen bread.

But today, I really wanted to return to food. Like, go and indulge in a few simple pleasures that I missed this week. Not that I eat these things every week, because I don't. I guess these were just cravings I had since I feel like I just got my mouth back after a week of quarantine.

So for lunch today... I ate a Filet-o-Fish sandwich from McDonalds. Delicious.

And tonight, on the way home from dinner, I stopped to get fro-yo with mochi topping. Delicious.

I wonder, after we move, what kinds of foods, I will be craving to eat whenever we return to the States for a visit. Right now, I'm thinking it would be an In-N-Out cheeseburger with grilled onions and fries well done. But what if it's something totally random and unexpected... like the Meat Lover's Scramble from Denny's? Or pita chips with Harry n' David onion and relish dip? Or raw broccoli with ranch dressing?

Makes me think I should cherish everything more now, since I don't know what I'll be missing until I'm missing it. This means food, sure, but probably also conveniences, simple pleasures, and then, of course... people.

Snobby Food

This past year, my friend received the French Laundry recipe book for a gift. She lent the book to me so I can read all about food that I will never be able to eat.

When I first borrowed the book, I thought that there was a slight possibility that I could try a couple of the recipes. 20 minutes into looking through the book, I was discouraged that there was no way I could make any of the recipes. First, I don't know how to shuck an oyster. Second, I don't have the tools. Third, I don't have the money to buy the food. I put the book down dejected and hungry.

A couple days later, when I was feeling more confident and determined, I went through the book looking for the easiest and cheapest recipe.

The recipe I chose was pan-roasted scallops with morel mushrooms, and asparagus puree. The problem, I found out later, that morels are hard to find and are super expensive. They are also poisonous when raw (just in case you are put in that situation). I found on a website that morels can be priced at $59.99. Alvin kept teasing me that it was a Disneyland ticket. I thought, if I have to choose between DL and mushrooms, I am choosing DL (I Heart DL.)

So the substitute I chose was Hen of the Woods mushroom. Sounds like Chicken of the Sea. Anyway, prep time was about an hour, cook time was 30 minutes. The most snobby request the recipe asked for was to cut the tomatoes into small dice, but shaped like diamonds. My friend CWang, owner of snobby book, came over to help and then of course eat.

And here are pictures of the result:





Here is my critique of the recipe: I didn't like the asparagus on top because the texture clashed with everything else, but the puree, mushrooms and scallops went well together.

Also, it doesn't fill. My friend made mashed potatoes, not from French Laundry, to fill up everyone's stomach.

Overall, it was very yummy. Kudos to the snobby recipe. I guess being a snob works sometimes.

I will let the Alee and CWang comment with their critique.

I feel accomplished now for making my first and probably last French Laundry recipe.

Weighed Down

I do not know what to blog about today. So I will blog about how I feel. Why? Because I rarely care about or talk about how I feel, so maybe it's healthy for me to do so. And, because today I feel differently than I do on most days.

Today, I feel... weighed down.

Some of the things weighing me down are the things that people around me are going through. Interpersonal relationships. Insecurities. Suffering. Pain. I think that, usually, I can listen and be there for people, and help to carry their burdens, and not feel too weighed down myself. Today's feeling is... rare. Maybe by tomorrow it will pass.

Some of the things weighing me down are the things we will be going through in the next few months. And there will be a lot. Packing up. Moving. Saying goodbyes. Tying up loose ends. And all this, while I'm still trying to put in a certain number of hours each week as an independent web programmer. Maybe it's stress, or uncertainty, or even fear. I guess I'm still processing.

And then, some of the things weighing me down are completely internal to me. Things like... how can I be better? Not just do things better. But actually be better. Like... be a better husband. Be a better brother. Be a better son. Be a better friend. And ultimately, be a better follower of chrst. This weighs me down too.

My typical response on these rare days when I feel weighed down is to list out what needs to be done, and then just have at it. Start doing stuff. Get things done. But tonight, I am going to try something different. Maybe tonight, I will be still. Quiet myself. Stop. Listen. Read. Pr'y.

So that's how I feel today. Rare, don't you think? Not quite... my usual. But there's nothing wrong with that.

This has been a good session. I think we've accomplished a lot in our time together today.

6 Pots of Jouk in 2 Weeks and a Day

Question: What do you need to make good jouk?
Answer: A good punchline.

Alvin and I were counting, and we made 6 pots of jouk in 2 weeks and a day. I believe we both made three each.

Why so much jouk you may ask?

Well the first two was a because I roasted two chicken and didn't want to waste the carcass. The third and forth pot was because Alvin was feeling sick at the end of last week. And the fifth and sixth one was because I was feeling sick and then Alvin got his wisdom teeth pulled out.

I do have to say that each pot has been getting better. We realized that the chili oil that Alvin made goes really well with jouk, as does raw sweet corn.

I'm not tired of jouk yet, but I know I will be soon. And that is no "jouk!"

Loss of Wisdom

I have heard some horror stories about wisdom teeth extractions over the years. But by His grace, my experience was... really, really, really positive. I feel very blessed.

Special thanks to my wife for commemorating this experience with the design of a Staples Easy Button.

Through the years of my childhood, I had upwards of 10 teeth pulled. But that was over 20 years ago. Today, it was time to do it again.

I opted not to go with nitrous nor get an anesthesiologist. How often in life do we get to go through a controlled environment of short-term pain that we know will be short-term? Maybe it would build my pain tolerance, and so I didn't want to waste it.

After the shots took effect and I was numb, the good dentist began working on the first tooth. About 15 seconds later, she said,

"Ok. That was the first one."

I responded (with mouth open and lips and tongue all numb),

"Eh? Wha do yul meein?"

"I mean... I just took out the first of your 4 wisdom teeth."

"Wowl. Wilwe? Sol fasth!"

In and out of the office in 45 minutes. I came home, switched out the bloody gauze every half an hour for about 3 hours. Took my ibuprofen and my antibiotics. And then ate a bowl of juk. And then a bowl of homemade applesauce (again, thank you, Bethany!). And then another bowl of juk. And then... a cracker. Then a jelly belly. Then a few more crackers. Then a really really small piece of beef jerky. And now, two poached eggs. I guess I'm just hungry and don't like the taste of my own blood.

Feeling a little pain in the back now, kinda like how it feels if I were to have a sore jaw. Besides that... just really thankful that it has turned out as well as it has.

For the not-so-faint-of-heart, if you want to see pictures, click at your own risk...

My extracted teeth, shot with my cell phone in the office.

My bloody mouth, shot earlier this evening.

Feeling Under the Weather

The past week, when Alvin was feeling sick, we were just commenting how it has been awhile since I have been sick. I told a friend that during Christmas break, and he said that makes sense since I was running a lot, never lacked sleep, wasn't stressed from school and work, and my daily routine usually consists of just interacting with Alvin.

Well, today I woke up with a sore throat. In the afternoon, everything felt like a sick sore and I had a low fever. Alvin and I had this long discussion on what is a low fever and what is a high fever. I then suddenly remembered the last time I was sick. It was in May flying back from Seattle and having a layover in the airport. Man, being sick at the airport is no fun.

So I ended up sleeping all the afternoon, got up and ate (surprising I had a great appetite for jouk even though I was feeling under the weather), took a pain reliever, slept again, and now I feel awesome and full of energy.

Where's the party? I'm ready.

The End of the World

On Thursday, as I was walking out of a SBUX to my car, I passed a familiar scene. Splattered on the concrete was a small drink - probably a hot chocolate. Standing next to the mess was a sobbing 3-year-old boy, with his face buried into his dad's thigh. His dad was saying things like, "It's ok! Mommy is getting another one. Don't cry... don't cry..."

If you're old enough to read this blog (so, like, ages 6 and up), then you have a good perspective on this situation. For the 3-year-old boy, of course, this dropped hot chocolate is the end of the world. It is the absolute biggest thing going on his life, and he's not so sure that he'll make it through. So you want to tell the boy, "Hey, it's going to be ok. Best case scenario... mom comes back in 3 minutes with another one! Worse case scenario... we head home, and in about 30 minutes, you'll be eating a yummy grilled cheese sandwich for lunch and you'll have forgotten all about your hot chocolate."

It takes being older than 3, and seeing other 3-year-olds go through and get through spilled drinks, or dropped ice cream cones, or broken crayons... to know that it really will be ok for them, and it's not the end of the world. Isn't perspective great?

But then you hit middle school, and 3 of the kids in the cool crowd say nasty things about you to everyone in your class. Your reputation (for this week) is ruined. It's the absolute biggest thing going on in your life. It's the end of the world. But you got through it.

High school comes along and you have nobody to goto the prom with, or nobody will accept your friend request on Facebook, or everybody else is getting into good colleges but you're still waiting to hear.

Once you get a little bit older, you look back at those experiences and realize that, even though at the time it was the biggest thing going on in your life, and it was the end of the world... in the end, it really was going to be ok. Others have gone before. And not being able to goto the prom is nothing compared to losing your job in a recession.

But then again, losing your job in a recession... is nothing compared to losing your friend in a car accident.

Our pain is valid. The things we go through, and what we feel as we go through them... certainly these things are not to be minimized. But too many times I've gone through a difficult experience thinking, This is the absolute biggest thing going on for me. I don't know how I'll get through this. This is the end of the world. And then, a week later, or 3 months later, or a few years down the road... I go through something bigger or more difficult, and the last thing really didn't seem quite as bad as I had thought at the time.

So, for today, this is my reminder to myself. I need to step back and get perspective. Big things... yes, they're big... but it's going to be ok. Best case scenario... a miraculous change of events turns everything for the better by noon today. Worse case scenario... I suffer a little bit longer, and maybe even die. But I think it's going to be ok.

Jury Duty

So yesterday I was selected to go to jury duty. I had mixed feelings going. First of all, I didn't have anything planned during the day so I was fine with going. But I knew that jury duty day means just a lot of waiting.

I brought a book, water, and my Chinese flashcards. Yet, I only wait an hour and a half before I was called into a courtroom. There were 24 possible jurors called into a criminal court case. They only needed 6 jurors. Since I was sitting in the third row of benches, the lawyers told us most likely the third row would not be chosen. Yet they explained the basics of the case and asked us all to comment if we would be biased. Felicity told me the other day to speak up during the questioning and more likely I wouldn't be selected. So I objected to one of the prosecuting attorney's question to me. Well, it turns out my objection was the basis the defense attorney was going on. So he kept saying, "just like Miss Lee said, ..." Oops. So after the first round of questioning, we had to wait outside the court room.

The bailiff then came in to call some of us in for a second round of questioning. He said, "the judge would like to see all of the second row and Bethany Lee." Oops. Actually I wouldn't have cared that much if I was chosen, but I do think knowing some of the basics of the case, I'm not sure if I wanted to choose what is right and wrong.

Finally, everyone got called in again and then the 6 jurors were selected. I was relieved not to have been chosen. The funny thing is that all the people that were selected were people that spoke up during questioning.

I thought today was super informative and kind of fun. This was my first time in a courtroom. I have only been called for jury duty one other time in Los Angeles but got dismissed early.

A Song Worth Knowing

There may only be one song out there such that - every time I hear the song - I stop to listen, breathe a deep sigh, and am moved to emotion... sometimes to tears. Elijah, by the late Rich Mullins, is worth listening to and worth reflecting upon.

These days, I'm learning about perspective. Lessons about how the big things we go through in life, though they are big in our eyes and validly so, are so small compared to the core stuff of life and death and existence. That's for a later blog entry. But Elijah reminds me to hold tightly to that which is worthy, and to hold loosely... everything else.

---

The Jordan is waiting for me to cross through
My heart is aging I can tell
So Lord, I'm begging for one last favor from You
Here's my heart take it where You will

This life has shown me how we're mended and how we're torn
How it's okay to be lonely as long as you're free
Sometimes my ground was stoney
And sometimes covered up with thorns
And only You could make it what it had to be
And now that it's done

Well if they dressed me like a pauper
Or if they dined me like a prince
If they lay me with my fathers
Or if my ashes scatter on the wind I don't care

But when I leave I want to go out like Elijah
With a whirlwind to fuel my chariot of fire
And when I look back on the stars
It'll be like a candlelight in Central Park
And it won't break my heart to say goodbye

There's people been friendly, but they'd never be your friends
Sometimes this has bent me to the ground
Now that this is all ending I want to hear some music once again '
Cause it's the finest thing that I have ever found

But the Jordan is waiting
Though I ain't never seen the other side
They say you can't take in the things you have here
So on the road to salvation I stick out my thumb and He gives me a ride
And His music is already falling on my ears

There's people been talking
They say they're worried about my soul
Well, I'm here to tell you I'll keep rocking
'Til I'm sure it's my time to roll
And when I do

When I leave I want to go out like Elijah
With a whirlwind to fuel my chariot of fire
And when I look back on the stars
It'll be like a candlelight in Central Park
And it won't break my heart to say goodbye

Post Dentist Visit Confessions and Lessons

Went to the dentist today. (A shout-out to you, my dentist, if you read this blog). So I'm willing to put myself out there and be vulnerable in order to relate a lesson that I have been learning about myself. You may think less of me for this. You may think I'm a horrible person. It's ok... I've already come to grips with my own brokenness. You should too.

I do not floss everyday. In fact, there are some days when I just pass out in bed, completely bypassing the standard floss-brush-rinse routine that we all lecture each other to do (even some of us who don't actually do it ourselves).

Ok, so now you know. Go ahead, throw the stones.

But here's the lesson I'm learning. It's all about self-control. I recently asked myself the question: How in the world can I expect to have the self-control to do things like read the word, pr to the father, be careful of what I say, love difficult people, stand up in the face of difficulty or temptation... if I don't even have the self-control to floss and brush everyday? How can I expect to do well in the bigger things of life when I do so poorly in the small, 5-minute activities of daily life?

So, tonight... I will floss. I will brush. I will even rinse with ACT Restoring Mouthwash. Not because I care that much about my teeth (I'm sorry, dentist. I mean, come on, I'm moving to a part of the world where my teeth will be in the upper 5 percentile). But because doing well in this small area of life might just have some bearing on how well I might do in bigger areas of life.

SBUX Party Picture

So I know there is the phrase that a picture is worth a thousand words, so I decided to put up 6 pictures. That is 6,000 words! Can you handle it! Actually it is 6 pictures in one.

Thanks to my Photoshop class, I was able to fit all six pictures into one long picture. If you look very closely, you can see all my mistakes. Click on picture to see a larger size. I also took the pictures, which is why some of the pictures are darker than others.

*Funny thing I just noticed and verified from my original pictures. The guy ordering and the guy behind Carol are the same guy. He just moved after I shot the first picture.

Photoshop is frustrating yet so satisfying in the end. If you have any pictures you want me to work on, send them to me so I can practice.

NTB and Customer Service

Bethany quoted a marketing stat for me once. She said that, when a person has a good experience at a business, they will tell 11 people; when a person has a bad experience at a business, they will tell 13 people.

Early last week, I was about ready to tell 13 people about NTB. But since they redeemed themselves, now I'll tell 11.

Two weeks ago, I went in to get 4 brand new tires for Bethany's soon-to-be-sold car. Cost was $500+. Not the cheapest tires in the world, but I've had good customer service experiences with NTB before, so it was worth it to me.

After coming home that day, I checked my mailbox... and found a $25-off-4-tires coupon from NTB! But... I just bought the tires that morning! So, the natural thing to do is bring the coupon and the receipt into the store and ask. On Monday, that's what I did.

So I returned to NTB and explained the situation. Come on... after getting my $500+, their crediting me back $25 should be well worth it to keep a customer. But the guy at the counter, after talking with a guy in the back, came out and said,

"Sorry, man. Nothing we can do. You should have brought the coupon in when you bought the tires."

Grr. I didn't have the coupon when I bought the tires. I got the coupon afterwards.

"Well, you must have received the coupon as a promotional thank-you after you bought these tires."

Grr. On the same day? Your marketing department definitely can't turn it around this quick. I'm on your list because, last year, I spent $500+ for tires for my other car!

"Sorry... nothing we can do. Next time, bring the coupon in when you make your purchase."

Fine. I will not talk to a manager. I will call NTB's customer service. So that evening, I had a lovely conversation with a customer service rep, explaining the situation. She understood what happened, was surprised that they would not credit me the $25, and said that she would pass my case on to upper management.

The next morning, I get a phone call from the manager of this specific NTB store. He asked me to explain the story, which I did. His response was...

"Hey man... $25 is not that much. So sure, we'll credit you. But really, people aren't able to redeem coupons after a purchase. You wouldn't be able to do this at Walmart or any other store..." (Actually... you can do this at other stores. Tons of stores do this, because it's the equivalent of just returning your item and then re-buying it with the coupon. But I didn't raise this issue with him.)

So he give me back $25, after lecturing me.

Post-post Note:

When I started this entry, I was going to write about how NTB has made it back onto my Customer Service happy list. So they credited me back $25. Even with a little bit of hassle, that was nice of them. Thank you.

BUT, after browsing around a little bit on the NTB website, I now see that there is an internet coupon for $40 off 4 tires. Wait a second. $40? Grr. They gave me a lecture for using my $25 off coupon which was mailed to me since I was a loyal customer... and here on the internet for everyone is a $40 off coupon?

Oh well. I will learn about my own sense of entitlement and how that's wrong. I will learn about giving up my rights. I will learn to scour the net for coupons before making a big purchase.

SBUX BDay Tally Sheet

Hello friends!
Thanks for celebrating with Alvin either through blog or at SBUX.

I wanted to give you a rundown on the stats for the SBUX Bday Party. Every visitor was important and very special to Alvin and me, but some stood out in the stats.

10.5 hours at a Starbucks
37 unique visitors (not including Skype appearances)

42 visits total (this is because of repeats)
These are the people who had repeats: Carol (3), Brenda (2), Nataly (2), James (2)

Youngest Visitor: Jason Tien
Oldest: Can't say. One couple who came at night said that they would be the oldest. But then we told them that this certain person came earlier, and they said, "oh, no they are definitely older."

First visitor: Carol 7:30am
Last visitor: Maisie 10:45pm

Visitor that Traveled the Farthest: Bea and BVL 21 miles
Visitor who Took the Most Pictures: Brian Tien
Drinks bought: 23. 16 drinks in the morning, 7 drinks bought at night. Alvin had 3 drinks and I had one.
Most Creative Gift: Using a tumbler was a gift for our unborn child in that it helps sustain the Earth.

Skyped in calls: Alvin's brother's family (5 persons) and Angela
Stayed the longest: Depends. Both Brenda and Carol spent 3.5 hours with us. But technically Carol got to Starbucks 30 minutes before the party began, so she spent 4 hours at a Starbucks today.

No birthday song, no balloons, 3/8th of a cake, one cupcake, one loaf of banana bread, and one volleyball signed by our Saturday V-ball friends.

At the end of the night, I was itching to get out of a Starbucks, but for my hubby I stayed. Technically, I only stayed 8 hours since I ran some errands in the morning.

I am glad Alvin had a happy birthday. He even played well at v-ball yesterday in my opinion.

30

7:27AM
Having your birthday on Valentine's Day is convenient, way better than being born anywhere near Christmas (sorry, Eugene). Essentially, my wife gives me a free pass on Valentine's Day. And I'm not a huge birthday celebrating kind of guy, so I give my wife a free pass on planning big birthday things.

So today, the celebration consists of an ideal Saturday... spending it at Starbucks with friends, and playing volleyball. I'll be updating this blog through the day with pictures of visitors, and maybe even pictures from volleyball. Alright... it's 7:30AM, and it's time to get going to SBUX 1.

8:05AM
The day begins with the Jackpot Receipt. Awesome.


First guests... Carol, and Mike!


Then... Luke and Rita!


8:45AM

Then more good friends! Wes... and then Bea... (and Mike for another guest appearance!)


9:15AM

More friends... Ben!


And James!


10:40AM

More friends... BVL!


Marcus and Yuko!


12:00PM

More friends... Brenda, Nataly, Joyce, and Carol (returning for more)


The Chew's!


Jeff and Nancy!


12:30PM

The Tien's!


Iwan and Lena, from volleyball!


Chris and Rebecca!


2:00PM

The Gow's (sans Irene)!


Well... it's 2:22, and I'm shutting down for the morning and early afternoon shift. It's off to volleyball. I'm so grateful for the many friends we've been blessed with... coming to visit, sending me texts and skype messages. It has been such an encouraging day so far!

3:15PM

The day continues with another Saturday favorite. Volleyball with good friends. I love it.

Us with Huang-Chun...


And with Iwan...


7:15PM

Then, after a quick dinner at Chick Fil-A... it was on to the SBUX PM location. Here's B and Huang-Chun...


And then me with my favorite guest for today...


7:50PM

And then... birthday wishes via Skype, from J & J (and M and E/T) in SoCal...


8:30PM

Brenda (her second round today, hanging out with us through the evening)
... and then two young friends we went to college with, who stopped by on their way to go clubbing... Steve and Allie!


9:54PM

Kenny calls in from Louisiana to with me a Happy Birthday, and he buys me a Peppermint Hot Chocolate. (Thanks, man, for knowing what I like, and for considering that I need to sleep tonight).

10:15PM

A Skype call with Angela...


10:30PM

And then a whole large group of people came in... Kenny, Catherine, James (for his 2nd round), Karen, Clarissa, Nataly (for her 2nd round), and Carol (for her 3rd round)!



10:45PM

Maisie (and her friend, Laura - not pictured)!


11:30PM

Then Starbucks... kicked us out. Closing time. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.

But, we went home. What a great day. A fun, low-key way to spend some time with friends through the day. It was almost like we had open house today, and people could come and go as they pleased throughout the whole day.

I feel blessed to be 30. I feel blessed to have the community and support and encouragement that we have out here, and all over the country (and even other parts of the world too).

Next year may look pretty different. I'm pretty sure there won't be a SBUX birthday available next year. But at least I should be on Skype. :)

Thanks, all, for making this a wonderful day. And thanks, of course, to the one who gave up her Valentine's Day so that I could have a different kind of Birthday. I don't get a free pass after all. We will celebrate Valentine's Day... just not until next week sometime.

Final Goodbye

This morning, Alvin and I drove our car to our car buyer. It was a surreal moment. While driving, I had a sadness, but also a fear that I would crash the car and the sale won't go through.
I have been thinking about how this will affect Alvin and my life. We will definitely have to communicate more about car usage. This convenience factor of just driving to the market whenever needed will disappear. Man, we were very spoiled with two cars.

The buyer had to take Alvin and I to the train station (DART) to go home. Since the buyer was a friend of Alvin's, I sat in the back seat. That was really odd for me sitting in the back seat of not- my-car. I think I will go through denial, withdrawal, and grief soon. Oh dear.

Goodbye car! I will miss you dearly.

Goodbye Car

Tomorrow will probably be the last day with my car, the Honda Civic. Alvin and I are selling the car to one of our friends.

Here's a picture of the day I bought my car (Feb. 15, 2003, almost exactly 6 years ago).


I will miss the car. First of all, it was the only car I picked out, bought, and finally owned after 5 years of monthly installments. Second, it gave me fond memories. I even named it Xiao (small) Putt Putt (which is in reference to its slow acceleration). I remember the day I bought the car. Alvin and I chilled at a Walmart while everything was getting ready for the purchase. Alvin suggested that I needed a car cd for the car ride back. So I bought the Lilo and Stitch soundtrack. It was great when I finally got in the car and drove home to the tunes of Hawaiian music and Elvis.



Selling the car is one of the first big things Alvin and I have to do before we leave for overseas. Having the car gone is going to be hard. I almost feel like there is no going back; I have to leave for my car is gone. Another feeling I realized I have from selling the car is knowing that it will be hard saying goodbye. If I have sadness leaving the car, how much more will I miss my family and friends.

Ok, goodbye Civic.

Parenting Advice: Separation is Not a Solution

I've decided that I'm going to share parenting advice in my blog once in awhile. No, not because I'm a parent. And no, we're not expecting. But because once in awhile I people-watch and I notice things, and I want to log my mental notes as parenting advice for myself down the road. And also because I want to for the readers of our blog who are parents to be able to read these entries and then shake their heads and say, "So naïve... he'll learn..."

As I sat alone in a restaurant on Tuesday evening, to my left was a family with 2 young children — a boy and a girl probably 3 and 4 years old. In front of me sat a mom with her two kids — a boy and a girl probably 7 and 8 years old. I noticed the families because... every kid was getting on his/her sibling's nerves. There was yelling about crayons because he was eating a crayon or because she got three crayons and it's not fair. There was spitefulness over accidents because one kid bumped his shoulder into a wall and the other kid thought he was stupid for doing so. There was whining about food because if she gets a milkshake then I should get french fries.

My gut instinct as a parent would be to separate my two children... pretty much for the rest of their lives. Clearly they get on each other's nerves. And I would much rather have peace and quiet. One family did that eventually... they sat at two separate tables. The other family stayed together and just endured a lot of yelling.

As I reflected more on this... keeping my kids apart — just to have peace — is not much of a solution. Maybe for discipline, or to give time for tempers to cool... ok. But if I teach my kids, "If you two can't get along, then sit at different tables..." then I am not preparing them for the harsh reality of grownup-ness that says, "Sometimes you must sit at the same table, so you had better work on working it out."

When you grow up, you can't just sit at separate tables if it's... your wife, or your co-worker, or your dad, or your neighbor, or the guy that sits next to you on a Sunday morning. Separation is not a solution. I hope I will learn this in my grownup-ness, and I hope that my kids learn this too.

Women's Small Group

Every week (that I am in town), I go to a women's small group. We usually meet at a cafe in Korea town, but since we are on a break in between our studies, I invited the girls over for dinner. It sounds like the stand out was the chilled corn soup. For fans of Top Chef, this was made by Jamie and I found her recipe on Bravo TV's website.

And here's a picture of some of the girls from the group. (BLB, NT, andCW are also in the group).
They are a fun group and I look forward to learning with them.

Flight of the Bumblebee - on the Erhu

I have a short list of things that I hope, at the end of my life, I can say without a doubt that I have pursued. This is a short list, and in my mind is only partially defined up until now. I have some more good thinking and reflection that I need to do on this.

I have a much longer list of things that I hope to do in life but have conceded that I may never do before I die. Everyone has this kind of list — run a marathon, see the Mona Lisa, swim with dolphins, etc.

On my long list of things I hope that I can do someday is... learn to play the erhu. Maybe I'll get my chance someday. Or who knows, it may just be another passing interest that will wane after a few months.

In the meantime, here is a good example of what I'd like to be able to do someday:

I Am PHOENIX

When I came back to Dallas, I was surprised with the advertisement from University of Phoenix saying "I Am A Phoenix." You can see the advertisement at www.phoenix.edu. I thought to myself, actually, since I love Phoenix so much, "I Am Phoenix."

So since I took the Photoshop class, but haven't had that many projects, I decided to make my own advertisement.

The funny thing is that although I do have a picture of myself in AZ in front of a bunch of cactus, the picture could not work; only this picture of me in Beijing worked.

The Waiting Room

On Thursday morning, I brought a good friend to the hospital to get a procedure done. He wouldn't be able to drive home afterward, and so I waited for the two hours or so for him to go through the procedure and rest up to be able to head home.

The waiting room, while it did have coffee, had no wifi. And no cell phone service, unless I walked about 50 yards to another room and stood by the window. So there I found myself, for two hours... waiting. It was one of the best times of quiet that I've had all week. Sitting. Slowing Down. Reading. Thinking. Pra'ing.

The circumstances required me to sit and wait and just be still for a little bit. I would not have imposed these conditions upon myself - and yet the time was so good. Why do we so often hate waiting rather than embrace it?

On Thursday afternoon, I went to NTB to change the tires on Bethany's car. I also showed up with no wallet and no cell phone (silly me. But NTB looked up my account and allowed me to pay anyways.) That left me waiting in the NTB waiting room for 90 minutes, where there was no wifi, and I have no cell phone. That's two times of forced stillness in one day. It was another very refreshing time - and again, imposed upon me rather than self-imposed... which is too bad.

Waiting in stop-and-go traffic that you can do nothing to change. Waiting on hold for 40 minutes until a live customer service rep comes on. Waiting for the nurse to call your name so the doctor will see you. In our culture, we hate waiting, and we think to ourselves, "I've got things to do. Let's hurry this up. Come on..."

Or we can take the imposed time of waiting and use it to slow down, think, read, be still.

In some things, perhaps the Father imposes 45 minutes of waiting upon us. In other things, perhaps the waiting time is 4 months or 5 years. What will I do with that time?

Many Cities, Many Awards

So as you can see from Alvin's last post, we went to many cities: Reading, PA; Chicago, IL; Vancouver, BC; Seattle, WA; and Portland, OR.

I decided to give my own little awards to each city.

The Coldest City Award goes to: Chicago. We were outside in Chicago for about 15 minutes total and I thought my face could have froze off.

City with the Most Cantonese Speaker Award goes to: Vancouver. Seattle gave Vancouver a run, but Vancouver definitely takes the cake. I even tried to speak to a waiter in Mandarin, and she gave me a look like, "what foreign language are you speaking?; here we speak the native language, Cantonese." Vancouver also gets the cleanest subway award compared to Chicago's.

City Where Alvin and I Have to Play with the Most Kids Award goes to: Portland. We stayed at Alvin's sister's house where they had three kids under the age of 5. We also stayed at my cousin's house where she has two kids under the age of 5. One day Alvin's sister brought her kids to my cousins and so there were 5 kids under the age of 5. Good thing there were also 6 adults there. Portland also has really good sushi, but since I didn't have sushi anywhere else, I guess it can't win the award.

City with the Most Foreign Foods goes to: Reading, PA. I felt like every time we went out to eat we went to a diner or had diner food. One friend from the Northeast told us that Pennsylvania people consider they got a good meal when they have 3 meats (from 3 different animals) with 3 starches. But how about the fiber? Man, what foreignness! Where is the Chinese food? Where is the Japanese food?

City that Almost Feels like a Second Home goes to (of course behind our other second homes [which were our first homes] in LA and Phoenix): It's a tie! Seattle and Portland! I have been to Seattle 7 times. I have been to Portland 4 times. I have probably spent more days in Portland than in Seattle. I'm not sure.

Home.

It's been 3 1/2 weeks since we left Dallas for what would be a whirlwind trip around the northern part of the country. Here's the travel log:

1. 2009-01-11 Flight: Dallas to Philadelphia (1301 Miles)
2. 2009-01-11 Rental Car: Philadelphia to Reading (63 Miles)
3. 2009-01-24 Shuttle: Reading to Philadelphia (63 Miles)
4. 2009-01-24 Flight: Philadelphia to Chicago (676 Miles)
5. 2009-01-24 Flight: Chicago to Vancouver, B.C. (1761 Miles)
6. 2009-01-28 Car: Vancouver, B.C. to Portland (315 Miles)
7. 2009-02-02 Amtrak: Portland to Seattle (186 Miles)
8. 2009-02-03 Amtrak: Seattle to Vancouver, B.C. (157 Miles)
9. 2009-02-03 Flight: Vancouver, B.C. to Chicago (1761 Miles)
10. 2009-02-04 Flight: Chicago to Dallas (802 Miles)

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. For a grand total of 7085 Miles.

But, to be able to spend good time with close family and friends, it was well worth it.

Still, it's good to be home.

I am Sad for the Cardinals

Wow, what a great game. I was rooting for the Cardinals all the way. The last two minutes of the game was torture for me and I knew that I was emotionally involved by the way my stomach was feeling.

Yet at the end of the game, I was sad, but not too sad. It was not like when UCLA loses in the NCAA finale or "the game." Oh, the game. =( Yes, I am referring to the Phoenix Suns loss in game six of the finals in 1993. I replayed the KJ's shot in my head at least 100 times, and that night I even had a dream that he made the shot.

Still, I have sorrow for the Cardinals, but not a permanent sorrow. This sorrow came twice tonight since after the game, my cousin who was working came home and re-watched the game on his recording. I don't know why I put myself through the torture again.

By the way, to reply to AC's comment, Phoenician is the demonym (nickname) for people who live in Phoenix according to wikipedia.

Useful Ideas

Once in awhile I have ideas for things that I think would be useful to the world, but I wonder if it would just be useful to me, or if it really is a brilliant idea that's useful for many people. I would imagine most, if not all, of my ideas fall pretty far short of brilliant.

Years ago, I thought about a kitchen gadget which is a clip-on spout for bowls. It would come in different sizes. Sometimes you do some mixing in a bowl, or you want to pour liquids from one bowl to another, but depending on the bowl and the size of the lip, stuff usually runs down the outside of the bowl. What about a clip-on spout with silicon/rubber seal to keep from dripping? Attach it to any bowl, do the pouring you need - sans mess and drippage - and then detach the spout and throw it in the sink.

I wonder if that's already been done. If not, I wonder if Oxo reads this blog. I guess we'll see in about 6 months. (Oxo, if you use this idea for product design, at least comment on my blog, ok?)

Now I'm wondering if there is a website out there for people to collaborate on providing information about specific SBUX locations. For example, if I'm visiting a city and I want to look for a Starbucks to work at for 3 hours, I want to know things like: 1) Is the store big enough, with lots of tables? 2) Are there outlets all over the place, or even one of those long tables with an outlet in the middle? 3) What are their store hours? 4) What's the atmosphere like (empty all the time, filled with teenagers, etc.)? 5) Are there soft chairs or couches for people to lounge, or is it just wooden chairs and tables?

Things like that.

Would this be information that is only useful to me? Or would others benefit from a website like this? If so, I guess I should get to work on it. And figure out how it would generate revenue.

I'm a coder, a pragmatist, an implementer. Not an inventor or a businessman. But occasionally, I wish I could know if my ideas were already-tried or brilliant, or at least good enough to develop further.