Conquering A Fear

One of the fears that is closer to the top of my list is that of having to go to the bathroom really really badly, but being in a public place where bathrooms are unavailable. I think this fear goes back to some bad experiences at Disneyland in 1989.

Well, they say that one of the best ways to conquer a fear is to face it. Tonight, I conquered my fear.

After a nice, yummy dinner of hot pot with friends, out in the other part of the city, we began making our way home on the bus. This is typically a 40 minute bus ride back home, and often it is spent standing up in a crowd full of people. About halfway home, I realized that I was starting to get a pretty bad stomach ache. This was a crucial decision-making time. I had 2 options.

Option 1 - Try to wait it out, which means another 20 minutes of bus riding and another 6 minutes to get from the bus stop to our complex, up the stairs, and into the bathroom.

Option 2 - Get out of the bus now, and find a bathroom.

I went with Option 2.

Why not Option 1? Because I've done Option 1 before, when the requirement was something like 10 minutes - and it was a miserable 10 minutes. Trying to do Option 1 for 26 minutes simply means being miserable for 10 minutes and then settling for an even more urgent Option 2 anyways.

So, I told Bethany I would like her packet of tissue, I would be getting off the bus, and I'll see her at home. And then, I got off the bus.

At 9:30PM, with most places either not having a restroom or being closed anyways, I knew that my chances of finding a restroom were... slim. In fact, I already knew - as soon as I got off the bus - what Option 2 really meant. It meant joining the ranks of the hundreds of millions of Chinese in this country who have gone to the bathroom in places that were not bathrooms. Do you think hundreds of millions is an exaggeration? You wouldn't if you lived here.

As I walked down the street, I was not looking for an open restaurant or hotel with a bathroom. Because I knew I wouldn't find any. I was looking for a long, dark, empty alley. And within about a hundred feet, I found one. In and out of the alley in probably less than 90 seconds. Then, I hopped on the next bus and headed home, just 10 minutes behind Bethany.

I apologize to the country for having to do what I did. But I'm pretty sure I see somebody duck into an alley or a roadside or a field - to do what I did - at least a few times every week. So I don't feel too bad. Better in the dark alley than on the bus.

Now that I have conquered my fear, I don't think I will make this a habit. But at least, I know it can be done if absolutely necessary.