Signs You Have Been in this Country for a Year: Changes in Taste Regarding Fashion

When I first came to this country, I thought that what the girls wore here was, well, just different. I guess I didn't appreciate the fashion here as much. After two or three months, my "fashion eye" started changing. Instead of thinking the fashion is different, there were times I thought things were "cool." For example, couches with flower patterns were now deemed cool in my eyes, and curtains with bright pink designs were now "in" in my mind. (Yes, I do own both of these things.)

The big example of how the eye changes is with the fairy/pirate shirt. The first time I wore it, I thought, "oh gosh, wow, umm it is so fairy/pirate like." The second time I wore it, I thought, "it is ok looking." The third time, I thought, "wow, it looks good." Even before I finished the sentence in my mind, I stopped because it just showed that my fashion eye has changed. Oh no! (By the way, the butcher went with me to buy a new shirt. Alvin calls it the "squid." I will save the picture for another post.)

I appreciate Spline sending me fashion magazines periodically to correct my "fashion eye." My friend who lives here jokes about how when a friend moves here from the states, we can use her to double check our fashion choices for about three month before her "fashion eye" changes. Then it is all downhill from there. I have another friend who has lived here for many years that believes that the fashion in our city is two years ahead of the fashion in America. Umm, I really doubt that, but if you believe that, I can send you my fairy/pirate shirt so you can be ahead of the times.

Signs You Have Been in this Country for a Year: Guns Don't Phase You

Yes, that is a picture of three adolescent boys crossing the street with two machine guns and a shotgun in hand. I shot this picture yesterday. We see this all the time, and nowadays, we're completely unphased.

In the States, people would be running for cover and calling the police; a SWAT team would be called in; the boys would be surrounded and ordered to throw down their weapons; and, if they didn't, they would probably be shot by snipers and likely killed; their parents would probably be prosecuted and face jail time.

But not here. Why? Because these guns are fake. And everybody knows it. In this country, for the most part, there is no gun problem. People don't have and cannot get access to guns. I don't even think I see the police carry guns. So scenes like this one leave people totally unphased. Boys being boys... playing with guns. Out here, no big deal.

Signs You Have Been in this Country for a Year: You Own a Pirate/Fairy Vampire Outfit

My butcher friend bought me this pink shirt. Alvin says I look like a fairy when I wear it, or a pirate. So he calls me a "fairy/pirate." I personally don't think it looks that bad, but the first time I saw it, it reminded me of the Seinfeld episode where Jerry's girlfriend made him wear a pirate shirt to be on The Tonight Show.

I willingly bought these sleeves myself to wear so my arms won't get that tan. When I wear it and look at my sleeves, it reminds me of sleeves Lestat would wear during the Interview with the Vampire era. Therefore, this is my fairy/pirate vampire outfit. I don't think many people can say they have one.

Signs You Have Been in this Country for a Year: Forgot How to Use the Can Opener

Cans are not common at the store here, and so in total, I have only opened 3 cans in the past year. The other day, I needed to open a can of imported coconut milk. I took out the manual can opener from the bottom of the drawer, and stared at it. I couldn't remember how I was supposed to hold the handle, and I couldn't remember which part to put on the can. I seriously stared at the opener for 30 seconds and then figured it out. That is 25 seconds too long to look at the can opener. Wow, in one year, I lost my can opening skills.

Signs You Have Been in this Country for a Year: Honking No Longer Bothers You

We are doing a new series on this blog called "Signs You Have Been in This Country for a Year." Our first post is on honking.

When I used to ride my bike and a car honks at me, I would feel like I was doing something wrong. I think the reason is because in some of the areas I lived in the states, you only honk your horn to signify, "dude, you are doing something wrong! Get out of the way!" So in this country, when the car honks at me when I am walking or riding my bike, I would get mad and think, "I am not doing anything wrong."

I realized, after a while, that in this country, honking signifies, "I am here and coming your way." It is more of an announcement of their presence.

So after a year of living here, I realized that I don't get bothered by honking anymore. I actually appreciate it when I am biking because I know a car is coming and I shouldn't cross the street or turn yet. I feel safer when they honk. As a result, I even am horn happy with my bike as I weave through crowded streets.

Down the Stairs and Outside in 15 Seconds

We had an earthquake today. It was only a 4.3. By California standards, this was a piddly little thing. Californians would probably look up for a second, acknowledge that there's an earthquake going on, and then go back to whatever it was they were doing.

I would probably do the same. Except for a few things. It turns out we were actually pretty close to the epicenter... maybe about 15 miles away. And so, the back-and-forth shaking was decently significant, even though it lasted for only a few seconds. And along with this, while I have high confidence that most buildings in California are built to standards which help them to withstand strong earthquakes... given the aftermath images from earthquakes that this country has had in the last few years, I do not have that same confidence here.

And so, this afternoon, as I was sitting on my couch in front of the computer, I heard that unnatural this-is-not-just-a-cement-truck rumble, and then began to feel the slightest of shaking. Immediately, I grabbed my keys and bolted out the door, slamming it behind me. In my mind, I was potentially running for my life - who knows if this building may very well collapse around me as I fly down the stairs. So I fled down the 4 flights of stairs and busted outside. I'm pretty sure I went from 4th floor couch to ground level outdoors in 15 seconds or less.

Over the next few minutes, more and more people began coming out of the buildings. Probably many of them felt a little uneasy about going right back inside right away... what if another earthquake were to hit in just a few minutes? For me... I felt the same way. Except that my computer and cell phone were still upstairs. So, after a few minutes and after everything settled down, I ran upstairs... packed up my computer, cell phone, and our passports into my backpack... and I came back downstairs and outside. I decided I would hang out outside for half an hour or so.

About 30 minutes later, based on absolutely no new information or significant scientific assurances, I mentally gave myself the "all clear" and went back home.

I think I can do earthquakes in the States. I know what to expect, and I have confidence in my surroundings. But here in China... not yet. Maybe in a few years, after a few more of these. But for now, my standard reaction will (intentionally) be just like what it was today.

4 Days of Waiting

It has been a couple weeks since the miscarriage, and other than being more exhausted then usual, I am doing a lot better emotionally and physically. I am thankful that the doctor did tell us before the miscarriage happened, yet I remember that the worst days of emotions were the 4 days of waiting.

On May 28th, a day before our anniversary, Alvin and I went to the doctor for an ultrasound. During the ultrasound is when I realized something was really wrong. The doctor then confirmed that the ultrasound showed no embryo, something that should be seen at 8 weeks of pregnancy. The doctor then quoted that there was a 60% chance of miscarriage.

Due to the fact the doctor announced the news in such a hurried and non-emotional way, the news didn't sink in at first. As I was walking out of the doctor's office, it finally hit me. I can't remember much about leaving the hospital or what Alvin and I talked about as we walked to the grocery store, but I do remember going to a western grocery store, picking up some avocados, cheese, yogurt, and a big bag of Sun Chips to bring to the hotel room. As we walked to the hotel from the grocery store, Alvin and I almost finished the bag of Sun Chips.

I remember that I wanted to start the grieving for the baby that day. I felt like 60% meant that most likely I will have a miscarriage. I also was afraid to have hope that everything would be ok, because I was afraid to be disappointed. I remember that night, Alvin said something that helped me get a better perspective on the situation. He reminded me that our hope should not be on whether we have a miscarriage or not, but our hope is in something bigger. Our hope is on our Father's promises which may or may not include a child in our lives. This reminder gave me hope for the future, no matter what happens.

Still, the next few days I had a lot of ups and downs. It is hard feeling so helpless in a situation. I can't fix the problem, but I just wanted to get into my belly and fix it. During the nights, I would wake up with anxiety that at anytime I may lose the baby. What didn't help was that my belly continued to grow, and a stranger even asked me how many months pregnant I was. While holding back tears, I answered "two months."

On Tuesday, June 1st at night, I had the miscarriage. During the emergency room visit, even though I was in a daze, I felt peace. Yes, I was sad, but I also felt like I was prepared, and now instead of being in a waiting period of half-hope/half-grief, I felt like there was an answer from the Father.

After the miscarriage, I started to recover emotionally and physically. I still was extremely tired at 9 or 10pm at night, and went to sleep early only to wake up at 6am. I know the four days for waiting was an extremely hard time, but I have learned so much about myself, my relationship with the Father, and my relationship with Alvin. Right now, I cannot say I appreciated the waiting period because it was so hard, but maybe one day.