According to Plan

In my mind, I immediately had a plan laid out. I counted forward by a number of weeks to determine when I would write this post. It would have been posted at right around this time, the latter half of June. The plan was to see the doctor, get a printout of the ultrasound, and then post it here, with the simple blog title "News". No post content. Just the title and a picture.

And then, on June 1st, we had a miscarriage. This was not how we had planned it. The blog entry I had planned to write was the least of our disappointments. There was so much more in my heart and mind that I had already begun planning in the weeks prior. Name. Which room would be hers (or his). Whether she (or he) would play the piano or the erhu. Whether she (or he) should train to play setter or libero. There were a million more little details in this plan.

I'm thankful that all the details and plans of our lives are in the control of His wise and loving hands... not in mine. And in His plan, we happened to be in the big city and down the street from a good, English-speaking international hospital. And in His plan, Bethany's pain was only emotional, not physical; the doctors said she was healthy; this miscarriage was nothing out of the ordinary for many first pregnancies. And in His plan, this never-before-experienced sense of loss would draw us closer to each other and make us even more thankful to celebrate 6 years of marriage together. And it would draw us closer to Him.

We've been back in our city now for about 2 weeks. We've been on a little bit of a blog sabbatical, as we settle back in and process. As more thoughts come to us, we'll do our best to post them here, so that you can track with our heart journey along the way.

I spent some time thinking on this one last week...

As you do not know the path of the wind or how the body is formed in the mother's womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things. (Eccl 11:5)

I believe that is true. There are things that I do not understand about his plan, perhaps just like my child would not have understood why I trained her (or him) to be a libero instead of a setter. But I'm glad when things go according to His plan, because He really does know what He's doing, and He really does love us just as a father loves his children.